wanna go halves on a baby?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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