I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I lost the right to judge tonight
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
