She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
