The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
