That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
