He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
