I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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