chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
