Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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