the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I understand Curling. That high.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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