It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
