I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
