Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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