I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
She needs sedatives and a leash
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
