Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have fence marks all over my body
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
