he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
