And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
