D3 body, D1 cock
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Randomize
