but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
