I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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