Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
