ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
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