I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
