Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
