it wasn't lemon gatorade
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
