Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
