Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
