I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
