I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
