My first STD was from a foam party
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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