I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
