I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My nipple is on Facebook.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
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Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
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