he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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