Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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