he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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