he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
