The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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