Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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