Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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