But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
