She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
