Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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