Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
