Life is so much better after having sex.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
