Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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