I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
