i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
