no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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