Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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