Swine flu. Run for my life!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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