Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Screwed.edu
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
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