i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
even my farts smell like vagina
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
