so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
