she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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