Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
