I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
