also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
