i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
