They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
