Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
