I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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