i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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